thirty-one trips around the sun
On the 6th of August, last Thursday, my 31st birthday was upon me. I took some time to write that morning and found myself reflecting a bit on where I’ve come from, where I feel I am right now…but more interestingly how I see myself moving through life going forward. Birthdays feel awesome because when they arrive you basically get showered in all kinds of love and recognition and well wishes. This birthday was just that. To everyone that added a piece to it, I thank you. I appreciate the moment you took to add some light to my day.
my journal
So I’ve been alive in this body, on this planet, for 31 years…kinda cool to really think about that. It’s crazy how our lives are actually this totally precious existence…we don’t know when we will die or when it will be our last birthday - our last trip around the sun. Today I’m feeling hopeful…for a year of “ahas” and beautiful moments and a whole lot of love. I want to embrace all of myself and continue to heal my depths and face what’s coming with compassion and acceptance and grace.
I feel solid to be standing here with Riley. I love our love. I love what we bring out in one another. How much we balance one another. I love his sweet soul that’s under layers of complexity and his humor and his patience with life. He brings me more joy every passing day - most of the time - ha. The more we grow together the better we are together. this is winning. Finding love, nurturing love, growing in love. I love how he supports my heart and my desires. How he encourages me to go write, to keep trying, to embrace all of myself. He loves when I do what I love to do.
As I reflect on turning thirty one and this level of adulthood that supposedly brings with it so much new responsibility, I feel grateful to be in such a solid place with him. It’s taken awhile for me to get here…it’s taken a lot of patience on his part. We both have our obstacles, mine being one of not trusting so easily. So it’s pretty spectacular to look at where we are now compared to my 29th birthday we celebrated together or the 30th one. This one feels different. It feels better, more solid. The road wasn’t necessarily pretty getting here…but its been worth the attention and intention and the “work”. I love him so much it brings tears to my eyes. He fills my heart up and overflows it with joy. We’re one. A team. The team I want for the rest of my existence.
I want this year to be the year of coming home and feeling truly at home in my own skin. Of feeling at peace. I desire thoughts to be those of love and compassion and optimism. Maybe I can share moments of aha growth. Maybe we can all come together and be one and truly rise above. together.
I want to be at peace with me so I can bring peace outside of me. I want to spread the good stuff and allow everyone the space to feel all that they feel and embrace themselves. We can all serve one another on this incredible journey. For me, I have to love my thoughts and my head. I have to fill myself with love first and trust in all that I am. I have to remember my truth.
As I live life longer I want it to be easier in a sense, more fulfilling, less complicated, more of love, less of judgement, more of optimism, less of heaviness. We’ll all survive as long as we’re “supposed to” so worrying so much about how it’s all going to unfold isn’t really the point.
I am ok. Even when it doesn’t seem that I’m ok. I get to choose that I’m ok. Here’s to year 31.
cheers dear ones