the time has come

The week of stress. The week of preparing and gearing up for eight months away from the homeland, from family, from English and the conveniences of life in America.

My work visa was finally processed and released and is now in my possession. Which means I’m on my way to Italy. To my new home and team and city and teammates. You’d think that after nine years of doing this I would be at complete ease with leaving my home and my mom and all… but it’s really not gotten easier. I stress the same, worry about what to pack and I overwhelm myself with un-useful thoughts and feelings. The thing is…I know I’m excited about going and I know I will find big amounts of joy while I’m there, but I still hold on to these feelings of not wanting to leave my loved ones or to have to say goodbye to this beach, or my home, or my love. 

So…here I am. I’m laying on the beach in Hermosa…my last full day in the US. I fly to Italy tomorrow….the time has come. I have my work visa, I’m all packed (overpacked most-likely) and I’m trying my best to soak up this beautiful day in front of me, all the while knowing very well just how stressed and how emotional this week has been. These departures…they suck. 

There’s a pod of dolphins swimming by right now. Seeing dolphins always brings me joy. good things to come. Riley has fallen asleep next to me - the usual deep breathing and low rumble every once in awhile. I feel peace right now. We’re together. The sun is lighting up the earth, the dolphins are here, life is good. and it’s sad too.

You’d think that the tenth time doing this I would pack my bags and plan my travel and feel all at ease…no worries. I’m going to live in Italy again and play pro ball in A1 for the 6th time and be in a city I love with people I adore and who have shown me nothing but graciousness and support. Yet I still feel sadness and a tinge of worry. Those bad thoughts still pop up and challenge me to remember that I have a choice in what to think about and where to focus my energy. Even though I’m deeply saddened to leave right now…I’m also incredibly fortunate to have this opportunity. I get to go back to Italy, my second home; I get to compete in one of the greatest volleyball leagues on earth and I get to play volleyball again. period.

I’m not sure how this will change my blog - I hope to continue my path of 11:11 pst Tuesdays. Maybe I can write more about volleyball and professional athlete life and my teammates and Italy… I don’t know for sure what’s coming. But I’m excited for what’s ahead.

This summer has been quite an experience…as I embark on the next chapter I take with me newfound love, newfound patience, newfound connections, and lots of newfound self-awareness. 

I’m grateful for the time I’ve had at home. with my fam, with Riley

I’m grateful for the growth we’ve had

I’m grateful for the people I’ve met and the connections I’ve made

I’m grateful for my health

I’m grateful for my loved ones being healthy and safe

I’m grateful for the security I have around me

I’m grateful I have this opportunity and ability to go play again

I’m grateful that I have been able to show up here each week and share with you…

Ciao for now