fresh perspective

Sometimes what we need is a fresh perspective or maybe just a space where we can open up and share what’s going on under the surface. Once we drop the worry around being judged or misunderstood and we allow ourselves to really get to the bottom of our emotions - that’s where the magic happens! 

At least for me it is.

So the last time I sat down to write and share here was three weeks ago. How I’ve missed the last two Tuesdays is a simple mystery. I did sit down to write, I did try, but I was in the midst of a mental and emotional block. I felt like anything and everything I had to say made no sense or that it wasn’t helpful in any way…and so I reverted to closing up my journal and sitting motionless and stuck inside my own head.

After a couple of breakdowns last week and some deep conversations with Riley, I started to unravel what was going on within me. I can’t say I’m permanently better at this point - but even if it’s temporarily better it sure does feel good to be here in this space.

One of the major reasons I found was fueling my struggle were these feelings of confinement and stagnancy. Since the day Storm came to meet us my days have become pretty damn repetitive. As much as the moments of these days with her have been absolutely beautiful, they have also become cumulatively draining. The same three rooms, the same four places to sit, the same views, the same lights, the same patterns of nursing-tummy time-swing-rock-sleep etc. I realized that my once so active and stimulated senses were now quite numb. Through talking things out with Riley I saw that I was in need of something new, something to stimulate the part of me that had numbed out. I’m not saying I needed a new life or a new home or anything extreme, but I definitely needed to switch up the routine energy I was living in day after day. This got me to thinking of all of the moms out there who must feel this too. Like time flies by each day but in slow motion and like there’s literally no time in there to truly invest in self-care. Maybe what each of us needs is just a slight switch-up. To get out of the house - not just for a daily walk - but to find our creativity again, to allow our brain to activate in more ways and to connect with human beings other than our precious little-ones. This sweet baby girl of mine brings me joy every-single-day, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need other adult-like stimulation too. 

When Riley and I broke this down we agreed that I needed a new space to write in or a new place to go or maybe just an hour of time to do whatever the hell I want. I know I’m not alone in those feelings…even he has felt that stagnancy and admitted to craving a different scene too. If he’s felt this way, and I’m feeling this way, then I’m sure we aren’t the only two parents/adults/people who could use a change of pace and space.

Advice note #1

If you are a new mom and you’re feeling down, judgmental towards yourself, too tired to make decisions, or a sense of stagnancy that leads to a feeling of purposelessness - try to get out of your every day routine and bring some new energy into your personal space. Remember what things brought you joy before and find a bit of time to fulfill that feeling. Someone once told me that rearranging my room and changing up my route to work could help me through a breakup - I think what I’m suggesting is something along these lines, scratch the breakup part. :)

Now here I’ll spin off and share some thoughts I’ve worked through around the delicate topic of Covid. This is a tough subject and one that has messed with many emotions around the world. Mine included. It’s been challenging to navigate the space of “vaccine, no vaccine, mask, no mask, sanitize again?, do we go or not go?”  And now that some things have started opening again I feel a strange mix of excitement along with a hint of fear that I’ve never quite felt before. The excitement being around the possibility of life going back to normal with more activities and people and FUN, and the fear alongside that of how to do this in the best way considering I have a newborn to factor in with every single decision I make. It was hard enough before when I was an over-thinker on my own, but now I’m an over-thinker for two! haha

It’s a bit humorous at the moment… but for the most part lately this has been totally stressful and exhausting. As much as I want to know what the perfect answer is to each of these questions that I have about Covid…I know now that I won’t get them. I don’t know, you don’t know - no one actually knows what’s in store for us or what the best answer for us each step of the way really is. So the best thing I can do for the two of us right now is to consider all of the information presented and then do a real gut check and make the choices that will sit the best with myself each night I go to bed.

Advice note #2

As hard as it is to not be able to live the way we’ve known for so long I’ve been finding it incredibly important to still find and remember the good things about our current reality. Whether that’s more time with our family members, or a more comfortable home or a slower pace. There’s always the option to reframe and in that reframe we can search for and remind ourselves to focus on what’s good about our life right now, even if it may not be totally ideal. Creating a ‘good things about’ list helps us get out of the unhelpful thought patterns that can tie us down and weigh heavy on our minds, and into a more light, happy and mindful place. 

And here I come to gratitude.

Gratitude practices are always a good thing to fall back on. Whatever yours may be, allow yourself the time it takes to go through it because gratitude alone is a healer. Feeling grateful and being thankful for what we have is far more powerful than giving our very precious life energy to the lack of what we don’t have. 

Where your attention goes - energy flows. 

Sometimes what we need is a fresh perspective. I feel pretty dang fortunate that I have people in my life whom I can open up to and let my inner thoughts and emotions pour out to…it’s refreshing and special to sit in that space fully connected and vulnerable. I hope that if you’ve made it this far you have someone in your life like this. If you’re in need of one - that’s why I’m sharing today. I’m sharing here so that there’s a space for you if you need it too.

Touch the let’s connect button below and allow me the pleasure of being a friend for you today.

With so much love, Carli