appreciating your home
Recently I had this enlightening conversation with my mom about her body. She’s in her 61st year of life. She eats like a champ, cooks the most incredible homemade meals, she’s on her feet a lot, she walks and she moves. She’s what you would consider a very “healthy” 61 year old female. But a few days ago we got into this conversation about menopause and hormones and holding onto excess weight etc. Within the conversation she told me that she’s becoming more and more fascinated by her body and how it does the things it does. She feels fascination and at the same time extreme frustration. She’s also more health conscious now than she’s ever been before.
In a similar fashion as my mom, I’ve been noticing that the older I get the more body/health conscious I’m becoming- but not so much in a critical way- it’s actually in a much more appreciative way. For far too long I judged myself. I HATED my skin- hated is actually an understatement. Is despised harsher? I despised it. I wished I could change it every day for 28 years. I felt self-conscious for every freckle and mole. I saw them as blemishes. ugliness. And then there were my muscles… I’ve been embarrassed by them longer than I’ve loved and appreciated them.. that’s for darn sure. I used to make conscious choices to cover my body up because I didn’t feel good enough. Ever. Not even close.
Lately though…over the last few years…with time and new perspectives and life happenings…I’ve come to see that my body is my true home. It goes with me wherever I go. It’s the one place I’ll always be. Once I started thinking about my body as my home I began changing my mindset around it. I started cultivating a conscious appreciation for all of it like never before. For some reason or reasons, as a human species we tend to take for granted what our precious homes are capable of. We sometimes judge and think harsh things about what we aren’t and what we haven’t accomplished instead of remembering what we are and have come to be. So although it took me a really long 28 years to get here, I’ve been practicing the cultivation of gratitude and appreciation for what my body can do and what it does do.
The discussion with my mom reminded me once again how important it is for us as a species to truly find and practice gratitude for our bodies. Even though my mom doesn’t want the extra weight on her body and she would prefer to get rid of it somehow…there’s still this space for appreciation there. Her body keeps her safe and warm and protected and alive. As a bonus she’s ridiculously, incredibly beautiful.
So while discussing some options for her as she starts her new workout regimen, I also tried to offer some words of advice:
“Instead of having the focus be on losing the weight, on the end goal, I think it could be good for you to put your attention on the simple appreciation of the exercises you’ll be doing. You can remind yourself to love to move again and allow yourself to enjoy your physical body doing things that it hasn’t done in awhile. Stretch it. Move it. Feel it. Find enjoyment in all of it. Find yourself present in the actions of being there instead of outwardly focused on an end goal.”
I think there’s tremendous value in being invested in working out or moving our bodies for the sake of being able to do it…not just for the outcome it could potentially provide us.
As I sit here writing this, I’ve seen a number of people go by. Some walking briskly, some joggers, some with headphones and no shirt just moving along… seeing them while I’m in this space writing makes me see so much more beauty in all of it.
Within this magical practice called gratitude I believe we can reach healing in our physical bodies. It can totally change our perception of the world. And our mindsets are pretty powerful.
If you’re struggling at times or you find yourself judging something about the way you look or the extra weight you’re carrying or the ankles you don’t like too much or the skin that has more freckles and moles than you’ve ever seen…try to take a second to reframe. Sure, there are things any one of us don’t necessarily like- but can you also see that the being you are is worthy of acceptance and appreciation no matter what? Maybe you can walk- when not everyone can; or you can tie your shoes- when not everyone can; or you can drive to the gym- when not everyone can; or you can grow long hair- when not everyone can.
I’m writing this as a reminder to myself- to remember the importance of self-appreciation and self-acceptance and self-love. I’m also writing this for my mom- to remind her of how much I admire her and how excited I am for her to move her body in a new way once again. And I’m writing this for you- to remind you that your body is your home. And your home is desperately deserving of your love and your care and kind attention. And maybe it’s as simple as a moment of true appreciation for everything that you are: the great, the good, the ok, and most importantly the things you may be deeply wishing to change right now.