something new

One morning five weeks ago I was sitting in a meditative state. 

I had my back against the wall, my legs were crossed and I remember my intention being to simply follow my breath…I can’t admit I accomplished that intention, but this vision that came to me in that space made up for the failed attempt. 

Some say we should try to avoid thinking during meditations, some say that thoughts are ok; to witness them and let them pass by with no attachment. I fall into the latter category of meditators…having my thoughts disappear altogether seems like an absolutely impossible task. 

So, back to the vision. 

I saw this space, this cool space on the web that was all my own, where I could write more, share more and connect with people. A place to expand and to try things and to learn. A space to push my boundaries a little and broaden my comfort zone a lot. A place filled with inspiration and goodness.

What started as a vision and a possible idea became my reality in a matter of weeks. 

It’s been ridiculously awesome to go through this process. To imagine something and then put in the work to make it real… it’s hard to put these feelings I’m having right now into the right words- if those even exist.

What I’ve learned along the way has been monumental. Here I want to share some lessons & takeaways & a little insight.

First. If you have a burning desire or an idea that excites you, one that lights a fire in you and has you feeling all warm and nervous and purposeful- honor it. HONOR IT. If it scares you a lot and excites you a little, it’s still worth it. Take some baby steps. one baby step. Verbalize it in a safe space, see how that feels…see where the next step takes you. Monitor how each movement makes you feel and use your own inner knowing to direct your next action. Take at least one step toward that place of exciting desire…

Second. Having a solid band of people around you can be crucial! For me it was probably the deal maker. Having people you can count on, bounce ideas off of, ask for advice and feedback from. People you can trust and who truly have your best intentions at heart. This has been a critical key for me. I know who my band is. They know who they are too. I tell them over and over again how important they are to me and how thankful I am for their guidance, their support, and honesty, pushback, enthusiasm and criticisms. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and who encourage the passions you have burning inside of you. 

Second and-a-half. What’s possibly even more crucial than that last point, is having the Intention and Attention to finding your own voice and to feeling your own inner knowing and then honoring that space. YOU are the one that lives inside your body and feels your feelings and your desires, and experiences your actions…so accessing that place of power and honoring it is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. There’s this fine balance between taking in other people’s opinions and considering them, and feeling a need to fulfill everyone around you’s suggestions. It can be a difficult space to navigate, it takes practice and time to feel more comfortable. But it’s a real good place to be in. So, connect with your band, honor their thoughts and opinions, but let your own inner knowing take the lead.

Third. More than likely you will encounter your critical voice. The one that tells you you’re out of your mind, or cannot do, or can’t handle, or shouldn’t be doing. ugh. I faced it over and over again throughout this process. Every time I heard that voice surface I would have to take the time to talk myself down. At times I would even close my computer and walk away for a few days…knowing that “now” wasn’t the time to review or edit and analyze what I had created thus far. However, over time I started to take a new stand with that voice and accept it as a gift to myself. Having to overcome my own inner critic again and again showed me that I can handle. I may have to eventually face the unknowns of how others will perceive the site… Will anyone show up? Will anyone read? Does anyone truly identify with my story?  But if I can handle my own inner critic now, I will be able to handle what comes in the future as it surfaces. Maybe even in a similar manner. By taking a step back, creating some space first, and then moving through it with a clearer and more intentional perspective. 

All that said, I have thanked that critical voice. I’ve forgiven myself. I’ve laughed at myself and overcome the moments of uncertainty and doubt. I’ve honored my deepest desires by going through all of those moments with attention and intention. On the other side of those moments, this is who arrived…and this “me” feels really, really grounded.

This something new turned into something grand.   

Do you have an idea that lights a fire in your soul? Is there something holding you back? What’s your inner critic trying to get you to believe? Do you have someone in your life you feel comfortable sharing your deepest desires with? 

I HOPE that if you have a passion filled idea, or you’re holding onto valuable information; a grateful thought about someone, or maybe it’s a lesson you’ve learned, - that you consider sharing it with the world.

 Even the smallest act can make a GINORMOUS difference. I’ve seen it over and over and over again along my journey, and it can cause a beautiful chain reaction. <3 

Go for it.